Crossing the Line...

When I was about 20, fresh out of college, I held on strongly to my principles. I grew up in a typical Filipino family that revered marriage and everything that it stands for - fidelity, parental responsibility, loyalty, commitment, unconditional love.

Two decades, 2 marriages and 2 kids after, I realized that during the times when my strong family values were tested, the temptation to cross the line were so strong that even with a good moral support system around me, there were still many times that human weakness prevailed. Thankfully, even during weak moments, my great love for my children and respect towards my own parents blew unimaginable strength to my spirits and I was able to stand up and survive the challenges.

Have you ever found yourselves strongly tempted to cross the line?

When you found out that the man you married is not really the man he represented himself to be, was heading out the door, back to singlehood, the first option that came into your mind?

When you realized that being married means flexing out your individuality, sometimes, even in matters that you're perfectly and obsessively firm about, did you find yourself contemplating just doing things exactly how you want them done even if it means provoking your partner to lose it?

When you were faced with your mother in law who makes it clear that you're the princess of the house because, well, SHE IS THE QUEEN!!!; did you start imagining yourself pushing her off the road so she'll accidentally die? or better yet, annoy her to death by showing her how much her son lavish you with love and attention?

When your kids started the tantrum crusade just when its time for you to watch your favourite TV show or sink back to your peaceful quiet heaven for that much cherished "me" moment, did you just wish that you can just deposit them in a "kids counter" for claiming later (specifically when they have calmed down and returned back to the angels that they should be)?

When you get caught in a tight financial situation and you realize that you cant really help because you are a stay at home wife and your husband is the sole breadwinner of the family, did you find yourself thinking desperately that maybe, just maybe, if you chose to stay in that work pit that you were with before you got married, you wont have to cut down on even simple conveniences that made your housewife life more bearable?

If you are still married now, chances are - you didnt cross the line... or if you did, your husband loved you so much that he thought those times were just a few of those "one of those bad moments"...

But if you braved the above situations without losing your grace, then congratulations, you have the right level of maturity for marriage... *big wink*

If you got a lot of warnings before you tied the knot, you probably remember all of them now. Yes, they are all true. It is not "like" a boiling, delicious smelling soup that you sip and spit out later when you get burned. It IS a a boiling pot that you need to survive and cope with (cook yourself in it if need be). The trip to heaven is not always easy and torn free. So, yes, Marriage can be heaven too. Once you learn how to fill your cups with countless moments of joys with your husband and with your kids, any bad moments will just be that - moments. There is life in dying. If you let yourself die in some matters, you will find that the life you get in exchange for those personal deaths are really worth it.

So, is crossing the line really worth it?

No, toeing the line would be more rewarding....